I always carry a notepad around with me, so whenever I’m struck by inspiration I will have someplace to write it down. Often complete blog posts are composed within the pages, with random ideas for other posts inserted here and there. Occasionally when I’m stumped for topics I go through these handmade notebooks and look for hidden treasures. Some make about as much sense as other people’s dreams, but every one in a while I discover quite a gem.
On the corner of one of my numerous pads was the note: Where do you find friends? I was intrigued enough to follow the arrow, where the first answer cracked me up, “At the friends store.”
The second answer was pretty good, too, with “go back to high school.”
For me the second option sounds like a viable alternative: 1) I loved high school, and 2) So many of my close friends I met in high school. Those friends are some of the ones where ages can pass, yet whenever we get back together again, it is as if we just saw each other the day before. There is something about knowing and trusting people for nearly two-thirds of your life that builds in a comfort factor.
As an adult, as would probably be expected, most of the new people joining my life have been from work. I’ve talked about the wonderful people I met at SANYO. With my job of seven years, however, there were only three of us, and befriending either of the owners wasn’t going to happen. Fortunately during that time dance happened, and many wonderful friendship developed there.
I have definitely had times when I felt friend making challenged. I would meet someone at a party or random event and really seemed to click, but then nothing developed out of it. My first question then is, “Was I trying too hard? Did I scare her away?” Then the sounder judgement side of my brain kicks in, “Goodness gracious, it’s not like I was trying to date her!” Of course my freaked out side responds, “Wait, could she have thought I was hitting on her?” Then I normally get distracted by a bright shiny thing and break the mental loop.
Am I the only one who maintains a lot of friends from high school? or What is the female equivalent of a “bromance”?
8 thoughts on “Where You Get Friends”
Tammy, I moved away from Salt Lake City (where I graduated from high school) a few years after graduation and have never been back (except for short visits) so I lost touch with almost all high school friends. But recently I reunited with one dear friend and then a couple weeks ago, another. And it’s been a delight. I can’t really explain the magic of seeing a friend who is now a mature woman but whom I knew when we were girls, really. One told me she remembered more than anything how much we would laugh and laugh and that she hoped I still had my laugh. Ah yes, we were girls. And I think girls I’ve met on line are friends too – a different kind, because most I haven’t met IRL, but I love hearing from them, sharing with them, reading what they have to say – so pen-pals would be a good comparison. And then I think there’d be a lot of fun meeting them in person too. Like you.
I’m so glad you were able to reconnect with a couple of your friends from high school. You are right, we were girls when we made these friends. Heck, I still have a problem thinking of myself as a “woman”. It’s a label thing.
Like you, I have a lot of online friends. It is fun to develop these virtual penpals. That being said, I am excited about meeting you in person!
I retained only two good friends from high school, and a few scattered ones from college/grad school. In our early twenties, my husband and I had good friends who we haven’t seen in years. Facebook helped tremendously with these lapses, and I’ve found new friendships from old names in my past.
When we moved into our new neighborhood we made friends with some neighbors, some closer than others. We met most of our best friends from church, fellow parents who have become some of our dearest and treasured family friends. Some of these relationships are at least ten years strong.
It reminds me of growing up, when we spent weekend evenings with other families who knew me like a cousin, a niece, a daughter. My parents cultivated those types of close family friendships, and I am so happy that we have them, too.
Facebook has been instrumental for me to keep in touch with friends and family members. Even if we aren’t directly connecting, there is a general overview of the things that are going on in each others’ lives.
I’m glad that you are able to duplicate as a parent the fond memories you had as a child – those close family friendships teach so much and can be really strong ties to fall back on.
Making friends after high school isn’t easy. I think just being thrown together with people your own age and going through the same things made making friends in high school so much more likely to happen. I’ve made friends since then though so I know it’s not impossible.
For the most part, I still keep in touch with friends from high school on Facebook and we meet up during the holidays, but that’s about it. We all scattered across the country so none of us are anywhere near each other. Sometimes that’s how it goes.
It’s as if some time periods in my life are friend generators, while others are barren deserts. High school was fruitful; college, not so much. Some jobs I walked away with a couple handfuls; others, none at all.
How wonderful that you are able to maintain some of those life-long friendships. The bonds lie deep. It’s amazing how technology can span the physical distance.
I find it hard to make friends now that I’m an adult. It’s easy back in high school and college.
Having that built-in, mandatory shared experience made a rich ground for forming friendships. It’s hard to duplicate.