Wasted on Me

Many years ago, a friend’s boyfriend created an impromptu blind taste test of some wine. Everyone knew that I do not like the taste of alcohol – never have, probably never will – but I wanted to join in and be part of the group, so they let me. There were two glasses, both red wine.


I dutifully sipped my two. Despite desperately wanting to spit out one of them, I decided to act like I belonged at the adult table and refrained. I’m sure my face was not able to hide my thoughts, however.

At the end, the three of us tasting each stated our preferences. I went last. I pointed to the glass that didn’t make me want to spit, and said, “Since this is my choice, it’s probably the cheap stuff, right?”

I was right. I chose Two-Buck Chuck over a $50 bottle of wine. My thought was, more for them. DH2U had no issues finishing my glass of the expensive stuff, which had been his choice.

This was definitely not the first time that expensive options were a waste on me, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.

One year for my birthday, my coworkers wanted to do something special for me. They knew that I didn’t eat frosting, so they spent extra money to buy me a cake with whipped cream topping – I’m making gagging noises as I type this because whipped cream is so much worse than frosting. I desperately tried to keep my face from betraying my horror. I knew they were being super thoughtful, and I didn’t want to ruin it for them. I hope I was successful.

In what should have been really embarrassing but instead I found it funny, I once inadvertently added to the bad stereotype of Americans being uncultured. Sorry everyone! I was at a gathering hosted by one of my fellow French class students, and I was invited to go into the kitchen to fetch a cup for tea. There was a tray with a series of cups on them. There were many really thin tea cups and a couple thicker coffee mugs. I picked up a mug and joined the ladies. The hostess saw my selection and said, “Oh, so we are out of tea cups?”

“No. I simply thought this one would retain the heat better.”

With a straight face, she poured my tea. Later I found out that the thin cups were a family heirloom and the preferred vessel for tea. The coffee cups were out in case there were younger people in attendance who couldn’t be trusted with such delicate material. I really should have remembered this from Keeping Up Appearances. At least I was happy for my selection and provided more entertainment for my fellow attendees than my stunning repartee could have produced.

What expensive things have been wasted on you? Or Does everyone feel sorry for poor Richard on Keeping Up Appearances having to live with Hyacinth?

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