Perfect Comebacks

Right after receiving a CSA box filled with goodies, I had the following text exchange with DH2U:

“Lentils and Rice or Cauliflower Pizza?”


“I see you are undecided. I’ll check back later.”

Yes, I can be a smart alec. The infamous “they” say that no one likes one, yet when I make those types of responses people laugh, at least when I can think of them in a timely manner. Then again, maybe people laugh at them because they are so unexpected and rare. My brain is too slow for witty repartee.

When I do have those flashes of brilliance, I savor them and report them here. If I can’t brag here, where can I?

Speaking of bragging, I had another case of completely cracking myself (and others) up a little while back.

Kurt and I were going to meet at a Starbucks in a mall he wasn’t familiar with. When he parked, he texted asking where the Starbucks was. I sent him this.

Starbucks Sign

It took a while for me to stop laughing too hard to breathe so that I could send him more informative directions. When he arrived, he was shaking his head, and I was still laughing.

The sad and even funnier (at least to me) part is that he wasn’t sure if I was joking or if my brain was doing its usual illogical thing. Even if I hadn’t meant it as a joke, sending the picture of the entrance is still funny. I win either way!

What has been your wittiest response that actually came to you in time to say it? or Have you ever had to have someone explain why what you said was funny?

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