Zombie Tammy

I had another horrible bout of insomnia. I was in a horrible fog of semi-consciousness for close to a week. Unlike my past cases of sleeplessness, I’ve been diligently taking my sleep supplements for more than a month beforehand, and it still happened. I was unamused.

insomnia

This episode of insomnia was different for another reason as well: in the past, I would wake up and my mind would grab hold of something, and I’d be staring at the dark ceiling for hours afterwards. This time I could get back to sleep pretty quickly, but it would last for less than an hour. Rinse, repeat for the whole night.

The worst (and thankfully last) night of the sleeplessness was of the more traditional variety, with my mind running rampant. I was so exhausted, but I knew sleep was not stopping by any time soon. I’d had an uncomfortable confrontation (which I’m not yet ready to share with the group – nothing too horrible in the overall scope of things), and I was angry. Normally I don’t have any trouble falling asleep, but that night it was tossing and turning and sighing. When I woke up only a couple hours later, I ended up camping out on the couch so I wouldn’t wake up DH2U.

As I lay on the couch and Carmen walked all over me before settling in her box, my mind was running off about the unfairness of the universe. I proposed an idea to my brain: when I was facing one direction, I could complain all I wanted, but once I rolled over, it had to stop. I let the complaining continue for a while and then tentatively rolled over. Silence. My body relaxed into the couch, and I slept … for about an hour before the process began all over again. I had no more than three hours of sleep that night.

The next day I was the walking dead. I was technically awake, but my brain was not functioning. Of course I have the big project at work that I had to focus on. At least I had some components that needed rote repetition.

That night I was back to multiple wake ups, but at least it was so much more sleep than I’d had in a while, and I felt almost human.

Fortunately I am back to a normal sleep pattern. I’m also feeling much more appreciative of the simple act of sleeping.

When was your last case of insomnia? or What helps you get back to sleep?

4 thoughts on “Zombie Tammy”

  1. I have had bouts of insomnia at various points and for various durations since about age twelve. It’s just part of my makeup, I think. The worst ones are when I just can’t find anything to break the cycle. And mine comes in all different forms – can’t sleep at all, wake up and can’t go back, wake up go back wake up again…all of it. I feel your frustration.
    Warm milk with a bit of honey stirred in often helps. I hope you are resting more peacefully now.

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    1. I wish I could make myself swallow warm milk. I’ve detested it all my life. If my insomnia comes back (I’ve returned to normalish sleeping for 5 nights now), I might be desperate enough to try it.

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  2. Insomnia. Ugh. I’ve had that for a while so I sympathize with your experience. I had it for several weeks a few years ago and it started to get really annoying. I would wake up in the middle of the night and just be awake. It would take me an hour or so to get back to sleep. Finally I learned to just relax and let go. Sometimes when you fight it, you make it worse. Relaxing helps a lot.

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    1. Fighting it definitely isn’t an effective strategy. Reverse psychology works occasionally – “Okay, Tammy, your job is to stare at the ceiling for the next hour. No closing your eyes.” I must admit I’m always disappointed when that hour passes and my eyes are still open!

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