I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with both of my step-parents, and I wanted to share my love of them with you. They took on the challenge of a normally thankless job, and I wanted to thank them for it. Yesterday was my step-dad’s birthday, and I wanted to introduce him to everyone.
When Tom married Ma, my sister and I were living with my dad. He was not expecting to raise kids full time. Well, the situation changed, and suddenly there I was. Having a different parenting philosophy from Ma must have made things very difficult for him not to step in, but he did refrain. I can only remember one time when that difference was made obvious to me in all the years we lived together.
After I went to college, Tom mailed me a letter thanking me for turning out to be a good person. He knew that a kid growing up right was not a given. That letter meant a lot, and I still have it. I don’t know that I ever told him that. I am now.
My favorite memory of Tom has to be a spontaneous trip we took. We were in Jasper visiting Ma’s Ma (yup, that grandma), when I came down one morning and Tom asked if I wanted to go to Memphis.
“Today?”
“Yes.”
“How far?”
“4 hours.”
“Okay!”
So off the two of us went. No map, no plan. It was great!
Tom made sure that Walking in Memphis was playing as we arrived. We walked on Beale and had lunch in BB King’s blues club. I still have the tshirt he (Tom, not BB King!) bought me. All those hours in the car gave us tons of time to catch up and talk about things that really matter. It was a wonderful day.
After I posted about the end of my dancing career, Tom was the first one to email me. He made the very adept analogy that having to leave dance was a lot like losing a best friend. He understood… both the situation and me.
Thank you for all the years of memories. I look forward to building more.
I love you.
Grown Up, Now What? 
I’m so happy to read this post. My husband has only been my husband for 3 1/2 years. I have 4 kids. He has 4 kids. So step-parenting is new. A couple of my kids have embraced him – a couple give him, what I think, is a hard time. It’s so nice to read a shout out to a step parent. You don’t see that very often. And you’re so right that it’s often a thank less job and one that comes with a bunch of baggage (thanks to disney and grimms and the like for the “evil” moniker that goes along with the title). Love the picture of you and your step-dad. And Memphis? Never been but I’d love to get there.
I always love stopping by here Tammy.
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Thanks, Barb!
The picture was actually taken last year around Christmas time. Somehow we managed not to get a picture of us together in Memphis.
With so much change and turmoil going on, plus the bad publicity you mentioned, it takes time for things to settle down and see where the relationship will end up. My suggestion is just to keep loving them (both your own and your husband’s kids). It doesn’t hurt, and it might help later.
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