Appliance Killer

There are certain objects that take a disliking to me. I’ve already told you about doors being out to get me. Orchids go out of their way to die under my watch. There is also a kitchen tool that dies within six months of me starting to use it.

Can Opener

Growing up we had electric can openers. I didn’t know any other kind existed. It wasn’t until after college that I first saw a mechanical one. It was at a new friend’s house, and I was so embarrassed to have to ask how to use it. She simply found it funny that I could be in my twenties and not have used one before.

At some point I got tired of the lost of counter space of the electric version, and I went manual. Ever since then I’ve had to buy a new one every three to six months. I am a can opener killer.

It doesn’t matter if I spend $2 or $15, they do not last. DH2U has watched me using them, and it doesn’t seem to be operator error. The crazy thing is, I’m not left handed, which is a known factor in destroying them.

The first time I went to visit DH2U’s mom, I warned her of my murderous streak before using her can opener. Fortunately I didn’t kill it during my stay.

When I buy a replacement can opener, I buy two at a time since I know that it is not even a year’s worth. Just last month I bought my latest batch – my last opener only lasted six weeks.

Counter space is still my reason for not having an electric opener, that and pride. At least that was the case until this past weekend. A short-lived opener warped the sides of the can, so it didn’t open the lid completely. There were several spots where the lid remained attached. As I was trying to pry the lid off, it slipped and bit me.

Can Opener Attacks

DH2U heard the shout of profanities that reminded him of the knife incident. He brought in bandaids … and recommended we buy an electric can opener.

Do you have any inanimate objects that break just to spite you? or Can openers: manual or electric?

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