I am hoping to have several guest posts to my blog scattered throughout this year. I figured I would start it out with a contribution from Carmen. This post was actually written by Carmen to my friend and neighbor who watches our felines when we are gone. I figured my readers would appreciate Carmen’s efforts.
Welcome Back!
Thank you so much for being my substitute staff member. I missed you! But of course the sunbeam will often be much more important than coming out to see you.
I want to make sure you know the important parts of caring for me.
- Food! Please give us each a cube of cat food each day. Needless to say you cannot simply put the food on a plate and give it to us. Hell no! Microwave the cubes for about 30 seconds. We are going for room temperature here. Squish them down and mix it up a little. Tammy does it for us. That guy (DH2U) does not. Enough said.
- Water. I like water. A LOT. Stupid Lemon will drink out of the toilet, but I won’t. That’s gross!
- TOYS!!!!! PLAY WITH US!!!! I love fishing poles. Strangely enough, I don’t like the one with the fish on it. The one with the blue thing at the end is my favorite. The one with the red feather is Lemon’s favorite. I will run and jump for the toy if I don’t think Lemon is watching. If I think she is watching, I will ignore it. Lemon loves the stupid mice. You can throw those all day and she will run after them. I wait for toys to come to me. Obviously I am smarter.
- Loving. I demand to be petted. Lemon probably needs as much love as me, but I am protective of my staff member. She is intolerable when you’re gone if she doesn’t get some loving, so do try to get some attention going her way … like when I’m eating or too busy in my sunbeam to bother with you.
- Oh yeah, Lemon’s medicine. How could I forget? She has to get pills! Hahahahahahahaha! Every other day.
- The plants. The staff members squirt them every day. I don’t like it. That is the same bottle they use on me when I’m doing things my way for a change. They say to water the plants every other day or so. The plants really get in my walking route, so I don’t know that I’d miss them if they “disappeared”. Hint, hint.
- Each time you come over, Tammy insists on having things for you. Go figure. The two jars on this paper are for you. The first one is some non-bitter orange marmalade. She loves the stuff. That guy likes it, too. The other jar is because you like oatmeal. Tammy puts a spoonful of the gingered pear compote into her oatmeal each morning and makes sounds like she enjoys what she is eating. It’s annoying, but it is only once a day, so I tolerate it.
I’m so glad you are here! I look forward to being treated like the goddess I am by you for the next week.
Carmen
PS. If the fur on the back of my neck looks a little funny, it is because they gave me flea stuff before they left. They suck.
Sounds like those cats are as fussy as my cat. She will turn her nose up at some the most unusual times. She has to have things in a particular way. Oh well, she’s cuddly and lovable so it’s all worth while.
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I think our cats are as fussy as we allow them to be. When DH2U puts down cold, poorly presented food on their plates, they eat it willingly, but not if I do the same. I think we are all well-trained!
I agree about the cuddly and lovable part. I don’t mind the extra hoops that I jump through for her!
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Cats are so ridiculous. My three Rotten Boys will happily lick their, uh, boy parts, but won’t drink water unless it is cold and no older than about five minutes from the faucet.
Love the guest post. It’s been a while since the Rotten Cats did one for me. Maybe I should put them back to work!
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Don’t you love how particular they can be about the weirdest things? Lemon will drink from the toilet but not eat some food and try to buy it like it is poo. What the heck?!?!?!?
I am looking forward to hearing more from the Rotten Cats!
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I love cats. Mostly because they are all non-apologetic divas, something that I aspire to be but could never be because of my finely-tuned guilt complex.
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I’d never thought of life that way. I, too, have guilt fine-tuned. You are right that cats don’t exhibit any guilt, unlike dogs. I love the pet shaming pictures on the internet because the cats always look so proud of themselves.
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