Oblivious

I love the Bloggess! Her book is on my holiday wish list.

Last month she had a hilarious blog post entitled, “Then I had an Accidental Lesbian Encounter at the Movies” in which she described how she unintentionally felt up a woman while trying to open the door in a darkened movie theater. Somehow it morphed into a PSA about breast exams, as only the Bloggess can.

Her tale reminded me of a time when I was getting hit on by a woman and didn’t even know it. Back in the day of Blockbuster, I was standing in the “Community Favorite” section in a desperate attempt to find something to watch with my friend that night. This woman came in and was making small talk, asking about certain films, suggesting others. Suddenly my friend was at my side, with her hand wrapped around my waist. I thought it odd, but was not bothered by it. All of a sudden, the other woman was gone. Since my brain doesn’t work like everyone else’s, my friend had to explain that she had “saved” me from the advances of the other woman … and that “community” meant LGBT. Now I know!

Not every time a female friend poses as my partner am I out of the loop. One of the most memorable parties I have ever attended was one of the most boring. Ms. M (long time – 13 years is a long time! – friend and former coworker who wrote the poem for my birthday, and whose birthday was last Friday!) was invited to a party hosted a friend she hadn’t seen in years, and she invited me to go with her. It was a lovely home with a spectacular garden. The company, however, was not as interesting. They were very cliquish, and their conversations were all about investment portfolios and other topics that just sounded like the Peanut’s teacher to me. I was so relieved when Ms. M divulged that we shared the same opinion of the event. Rather than leaving, we decided to spice up the gathering. With Ms. M’s arm firmly around my waist, we circulated through the crowd again, this time as a loving couple. (For the record, we are both straight, “not that there is anything wrong with that!”) Those that noticed what was happening were shocked, and Ms. M and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

How many of you are fans of the Bloggess? or Have any of you posed as part of couple of a sexual preference you don’t share?