Recently, the following conversation occurred in my head:
“Do what you are good at.”
“I should be a professional talker.”
“Just because you do something all the time doesn’t mean you are good at it.”
Am I the only one who has complete conversations with themselves in their head (okay, more than occasionally out loud)? This one is pretty representative of what is going on up there. I told you it was scary! Ummmmmmm … if this is grounds for commitment in an institution, this is a creative writing assignment. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Years ago I read Eckhart Tolle’s The New Earth. Early on in the book was a quotation that hurt my brain: What a liberation to realize that the “voice in my head” is not who I am. What?!?!?!? If I am not my thoughts, who am I? He then goes on to say that it is the voice that comes in to tell the others to shut up (can you tell that now I’m paraphrasing?) is you, not the voices of others that you have adopted.
It has always amazed me that my harsh internal critic has the loudest voice. The one that has the best advice speaks in a whisper. Trying to calm the other noise can be a challenge, but it always pays off when I take the time to do it.
Sometimes I find it easier to trick it into coming forward: If I really can’t make a decision on something, yet I can narrow it down to two options, I flip a coin. I don’t go with what the coin tells me, but what result I hope it will be when the coin is in the air. (I hope that still works now that the quiet voice knows that I know what is going on!)
Wow! This was another hijacked blog post! When I sat down I meant to discuss how repetition doesn’t always lead to improvement. Stay tuned to future posts for that one … if it doesn’t get ambushed again!
So do you ever have discussions with yourself? Which voice in your head is “you”? Do I need to stop reading books on the Oprah booklist?