Credit Due

At my fabulous 40th birthday party, one of my more recent friends asked one of my high school friends how I was different now than back in the day. He didn’t see the HUGE differences that I feel, but I guess he wouldn’t: It’s the internal monologue that has changed dramatically.

In high school I was needy and desperate for male attention. This is a combination that could have had horrible consequences, but I got lucky.

So to show my fabulous readers just how I needy I was, I wanted to give an example. However, the first story that popped into mind didn’t prove that at all! Maybe this is evidence more that I had more self-esteem than I give myself credit for, as opposed to being lucky.

Tammy at 16

Here’s the story: I had a date with this guy I’d been longing over forever. I’d known him for years through speech (hence me in the suit in the picture above), and we’d had a number of outings before. I had decided that this was going to be the night and the guy…

So my nameless suitor picked me up (in his van with carpeting in the back!), met my parental units, and then we went to park. We made out and were transported into that weird time warp where time stand still yet hours pass.

Suddenly, he pulled away and breathlessly said, “Your mom is hot!”

Ummmmmmm…….

What does one say to that?!?!?!?!? “Thanks”?

Now, I was at a time in my life where if I committed to something, I did it. I was not a wishy-washy kid. I prided myself on my responsibility. But decision be damned – this guy wasn’t going to be my first! So I announced that I was getting hungry, and we went out to ice cream instead. He never knew how different that night would have been if he had just kept his mouth shut.

All these years later, I gain more appreciation for my younger self. I’d pretty much dismissed her as needy and weak and scared of her own shadow. She deserves much better and is now “standing with fist” in my memory. At the critical moments, she stood firm. What more could we ask of our former selves?

7 thoughts on “Credit Due”

  1. Thanks, Amy! I had so many headlines for this one, most along the lines of “Teenage boys are stupid”, but I just have to laugh every time I think about it… Not at the time!!!!!

    I remember being that young; I just don’t remember LOOKING that young!!!!

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  2. Great post! And, wow, can you believe that kid??? Hope he developed a better filter later in life. Good for you not accepting that as okay! Love how you are gaining appreciation for your younger self!

    p.s. Saw the link to your site from a post on Problogger about the NaNoWriMo challenge (which I seriously need to do) for writing blogs, books, and articles.

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    1. Thank you so much for visiting my humble blog! 🙂

      I do hope for his sake that he matured a bit. I only saw him once after that, and he had gotten dumpy and so unworthy of being my first, so I’m glad he didn’t have the filter that night!

      So do you think you will take part in NaNoWriMo? (http://www.nanowrimo.org/ for anyone who’s curious.) While I don’t see myself writing 50,000 words in 30 days along with holidays, a book club, writing personal letters in all my holiday cards, and 3 Red Cross training sessions, I can see myself cranking out 30 rough draft posts in that time. I’ll take my inspiration for writing where I find it, even if I morph it fit my needs.

      I love the pictures on your blog! Do you take them yourself?

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  3. Oh, too funny! Yeah, it worked out for a lot of reasons then. I still can’t get over him saying that. What’s sad is he probably was some poor girl’s first.

    I’m not sure. I sure could use some accountability and a little push here and there. I’m just not sure since it looks like it’s actually more for writing novels. I know the blog post mentioned using the concept for blogs, ebooks, etc. I’m just not sure if it’s tailored for that. I might just have to do it on my own. I think I will scale it down a bit, though. That is almost 1700 words a day! That is equivalent to a long blog post every day. Every single day. Like you, this would be fine if this was ALL I had to do every day. The accountability would be nice. I will be lucky to last two days on my own.

    Thank you. Yes, I do take the pictures myself.

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  4. Credit due? I always enjoy my visits here and feel very like-minded to what and how you write, so much so, in fact, that I’ve chosen you for the Liebster Blog Award today. Just follow the directions on my post. Have fun! Credit and kudos to you. – Barb

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