For years I have been enjoying oatmeal flavored by peanut butter and bananas.
I’ve always done it the same way:
Heat half a banana and the milk in a microwave for 30 seconds.
Take the banana out and heat the milk another minute. Meanwhile put the peanut butter on the oats and slice the banana into the same bowl.
Heat the milk and the bowl another 30 seconds.
Pour milk over oatmeal, stir, and eat.
Well, that was a fabulous method until one day the banana caught fire in the work microwave. I heard a pop and looked in, and there were flames on the banana’s woody stem! I wanted to put out the flames and salvage my banana, so I opened the microwave and quickly doused the flames in the sink, praying the whole time that there wasn’t enough smoke to set off the fire alarms. That I wouldn’t have been able to live down, especially since I was the fire warden.
Once I was certain there wouldn’t be any beeping and firemen, I started to giggle as I proceeded with my oatmeal making.
When I got back to my desk, my fellow Muppet said to me, “Let me guess: Grits and eggs? It smells like bacon.” That’s when I lost it and started laughing out loud. I told him I’d set my banana on fire.
I tried my best to get rid of the smell, but everyone that came in commented on the bacon scent, which sent Muppet and I into fits of giggles. I did also confide my transgression to the CFO, the man who recommended Odd Thomas to me. At first he didn’t believe me, but when he realized I was serious, he asked if he needed to add bananas to the official list of things not to put in the microwave. I told him I’d learned my lesson.
Actually, I hadn’t learned my lesson. I still microwave bananas all the time, only not in work microwaves!
Has anyone else ever started a fire in a microwave? Or What fun non-work-related work memories do you have?
Grown Up, Now What? 