I remember what seems like a lifetime ago when I looked at a cute dress in a store window and wondered if it was too young for me. It shocked me when I had the sudden realization that (at the time) I was only in my mid-twenties. I felt so much older. That jolted me into confronting what was wrong with my life, which in time led to my divorce.
Now that I am out of dance, I no longer have the need for wearing very short and form-fitting training clothes, which I would buy at teenage whore stores – you know the type.
When being ignored by the staff there, I definitely was thinking that refrain. Now the only time I find myself saying, “I’m too old for this,” is when I find myself doing something I don’t want to do. Other than thinking it every single day during what will be referred to from here on out as “the job incident,” these events are normally few and far between.
I guess now I use the expression more to mean “life is too short for this.” That definitely applies to reading boring-to-me books and watching the second half of tedious plays … and operas. I’ll admit to being an instigator of minor exoduses during intermission, even among my friends who normally would never dream of doing such a thing.
I think part of the reason why I don’t think of myself as being too old doesn’t have to do with my being young at heart, but rather that I wasn’t all that different when I was younger. I have never pulled an all-nighter in my life. I wasn’t one to go bar hopping. I can count the number of times I’ve been drunk on my fingers. While I admit to being stupid in my youth, most of the time I kept my head on my shoulders. I remember once my mother in a rare fit of anger with me once said, “When you grow up, I hope you have a kid just like …. your sister.” Then she laughed and said wishing I had a kid like me wouldn’t be a punishment at all. At least it got me off the hook!
Right now I’m exploring some possibilities that would be giving me a lot more responsibility than I have ever had before. Most people in this position are half my age. My first thought on hearing that was thinking that they must be very mature for their age, much as I’d like to think I was.
What things make you think “I’m too old for this”? or Am I the only one who wasn’t a wild child in his/her youth?